you should all be taking notes?

August 28, 2010

Since it’s back to school time, which is great, I’m thinking that it’s entirely necessary to share a bit of an education — some thing that I believe everyone should know, be aware of, and strive for. Yas.

Some gems from MT Dictionary, one of the most informative websites of all time:

Cooter Slam-verb- A jump into a split that is so fierce that your cooter actually bitch-slaps the floor. Better done in LaDucas.
1. Sondheim Actress: This choreographer is dumb if he thinks I’m going to pirouette into a cooter slam.
2.
Dancer: That was a fiercy-fierce cooter slam. She better work!

Dead Eyes-noun or adjective- One of the most assaulting actions to be witnessed onstage. “Dead Eyes” describes a person who lacks any energy or activity in their face (especially eyes) while onstage. Beware, MT’s, vivacious and gregarious persons off-stage can still be guilty of dead eyes onstage and if you have a friend who suffers from dead eyes please let them know.
1. I’m obsessed with Everett, but when he’s onstage he’s always giving me Dead Eyes.
2. Her voice is soooo pretty but I can’t get over her dead eyes.

Extra-adjective or verb- When someone is going above and beyond the call of duty in the worst way. Specifically describes something one does either onstage or off (can include riffs, offhanded comments, an unchoreographed triple pirouette etc.) that are just “too much” and are deemed extra.
1. Chelsea: Did you hear Shannon belting down the hallway between classes?
Dan: Yeah, girl, that was extra.
2. Remember when we thought she was fierce? Now she’s just so extra.
3. Being a charachter actress is soooo hard. It’s not easy finding the perfect balance between hilar and “extra.”
4. We get it, Lindsey, you can dance. The fact that you always stand in fourth position is JUST EXTRA!

Heady Mix-adjective- the worst possible placement. Teenage girls are frequently
guilty of employing heady mixes when their chest voices give out. This is a sure-fire
sign of an untrained singer. Heady-mixes are not to be confused with a gorge sop
(gorgeous soprano).
I want to murder ALL HEADY MIXERS.

Kick-Your-Face-verb- A command in which a nondancer orders a dancer of extreme
flexibility to grand battement for their enjoyment. Completely gratuitous, but incredibly
worth it.
Lawrence: Taylor, kick your face.
(She does so.)
Lawrence: [elated]Yesssssssss.

Option Up– verb- The phenomenal action of altering a melody for a higher note. If a
beltress takes the fifth scale degree instead of the third scale degree on the cut-off that
is considered an option-up. Not to be confused with riffing, optioning up is another
fierce way for beltresses to lord their voices over us.
“I saw Brynn as the Narrator in Joseph…; she optioned up EVERYTHING!”
“Oh my fucking goodness, Stephanie J. Block just optioned up on “Get Out and Stay Out!” BBM EVERYONE YOU KNOW.”

She-Tenor– noun- Any male who sings comfortably at high C and beyond. This can be done by singing in either a full belt or a forward mix belt, but NOT solely a falsetto. The male must be able to sing most (if not all) female belt songs.
Example 1
Chris: I am such a She-Tenor. I Belted Last Midnight in the shower today.
Danny: I can belt Last Midnight with a cold at 8 in the morning, thats not She-Tenor territory. Come back to me when you have Gimme Gimme.
Example 2
Lee: Billy Porter’s “Beauty School Drop-Out” just came on my shuffle. I die.
Dan: Not only is he She Tenor-ing the shit out of it, but his beat work is inspired.

Whistle Tone-verb- The rare gift of singing notes above the soprano high C. This random-act-of-fierceness is almost always an expensive way of showcasing one’s self. Whistle tones are almost always described as savage.
MT: I cannot believe his savage whistle tones. He got those notes past a G7.

Work!
-compliment- This is a phrase used as a compliment shouted during/after a performance (preferably in a cabaret setting.) This phrase, borrowed from the Fashion World, is a truncated version of the phrase “You Better Work!” Literally meaning “do work” or “you are working the hell out of this song”, this phrase carries a certain weight of tranny sass.
Gay MT Boy: Soooo fi-yerce! WORK!

YAS!– compliment- Very similar to “work”, this is another MT affirmation to be shouted at cabaret events. This derivative of the word “yes” is given slightly more MT meaning by the gayification of the vowel “e” from the rounded “eh” sound to the flattened “a”.
Celie: [singing with options-up] I’m gonna SING OUT SING OUT!!
Gayest MT: Yas! Work!

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3 Responses to “you should all be taking notes?”

  1. alexandra Says:

    that website is SO wonderful!
    when ever i enter a room i not only expect but receive an entrance applause.

  2. alexandra Says:

    SORRY TO BE THAT ANNOYING PERSON THAT COMMENTS TWICE BUT: just died laughing.

    Living- verb- When an MT is so fierce and so natural in their role it as if no acting is involved; they are simply living in their part.
    I swear to God A-Rip isn’t acting in Next to Normal. She’s living up there at the Booth.

  3. You maybe can guess who Says:

    did you write these examples? -___-


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