August 27, 2010

There’s one thing in this world that I cannot live without. And that’s really bad quality television. My goal in life is to be on one of the following three shows.

Let me just get one thing out of the way quickly: Angelina, it is fucking 10 am on a rainy day and you’re inside. The sunglasses are unnecessary. PS: Go the fuck home. though, Jersey Shore would be absolutely nothing without the Snookie one-liners. Here are a few:
– “I feel like I’m gonna be like a tornado. I’m just gonna go from place to place like destroying it.”
– “Guys are douchebags and I hate them all. They don’t know how to treat women, and I feel like this is why the lesbian rate is going up in this country.”
– “White’s in in Miami… what if you get your period? It’s ruined.”
– “Word of the day: sympathetic. That’s a big word.”
– “I feel like a pilgrim from the 20s, washing clothes in the sink.”

(On a side note, also a hot bed of quality one-liners…Intervention.“I feel like I can conquer the world,” “It’s like I’m walking on sunshine,” “That there’s a BMW, that’s a nice car,” “What is that? The Po-Po?”)

And then there’s the Kardashians. That family has far too many shenanigans for me to handle. I love it. I think, although my favorite Kardashian is obviously Khloé (whose accent is on the wrong vowel, I believe), I would most likely be Kris if I were any of them. She and I have a lot in common. We’re both always right, we both like to boss people around, we both know how to have a good party, we both like to spend money that isn’t ours, we both like to freak out over anything, and we are both just so lovable. Oh, the ‘nanigans. Can’t handle it.

Aaaaand, I am WAY behind on Real World, which is the show out of the three that I will most likely end up on. I’m too tired to continue this now, but I will go into much greater detail in the future about why I should be on Real World.

PS: blog title: totally a Drunkee McWasted shoutout.


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