yes, mom, i’m cleaning me room?

February 18, 2010

THIS IS LENGTHY. BUT NEVER FEAR. COMING SOON. A PHOTO TOUR OF THE WEIRD SHIT IN MY BEDROOM.

Ready to spill your guts?
I don’t intend to spill anything of major importance on the internet. If you want secrets, come pick me up, take me to a nice lunch, seduce me, and then start asking.

Your ex best friend needs you at 3a.m, do you go?
If it’s life or death, I’d go. Otherwise, they can deal with it themselves. This reminds me of something. It’s anecdote time. Last night I was with Emma and Olivia, and, of course, I was researching sexy sex tips in a gross magazine by the name of I Don’t Remember, and one of them was to set an alarm for 3 a.m. and wake “your man” up for a late night quickie. If ANYONE ever does that to me, I will cut them in half. NOTHING is pleasurable at 3 a.m., especially when you’ve been rudely woken up. Therefore, my ex best friend can suck it, and I’m not helping.

Are you generally a happy person?
I’m generally a crazy person.

What do you prefer skittles or starbursts?
Skittles!

Are you a big fan of snowstorms or thunderstorms?
I like both of them a lot. I love to play in the rain. I also love to drive in the snow, something I recently did for the first time. It was horrifying. But I felt so grown up, facing the elements in my vehicle.

Whose car did you ride in last? And with who?
I rode in my own! By myself! And my new crab friend Claude.

Who was the last person to call you a bitch?
I don’t remember. Bitchez don’t mess wiff me.

What color shirt are you wearing?
Navy blue and gray stripes… like most things I own…

Has anyone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?
If I don’t want to hear it, I pretend it never happened. So, no.

Has anyone recently disappointed you?
I don’t think so. I tend to lead the perfect life. Jelly?

Anything happening tomorrow?
I”m picking my sister and I think Caitlin up from Oak Grove and we’re going to go to lunch. I’m very excited. I haven’t seen my sister in an awfully long time.

Have you ever felt like someone of the opposite sex truly cared about you?
My mother is a huge fan of mine. I’m a huger fan of my mother.

Do you regret doing something today?
Waking up not at noon would have been nice, but I think I can find the room in my soul to forgive myself.

Do you own a desktop or a laptop?
A desktop! It’s on my desk’s top!

Would you rather kiss someone 5 years older or 5 year younger?
Older. Like Kate Winslet.

Is there anyone who doesn’t like you for no apparent reason?
Oh they have reasons. And I find it hilarious.

Are you a mean person?
I’m not mean, but you’re fat and have a personality that makes my shoulders tense with disgust… Taylor Swift.

Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night?
I was woken up by a text at 10 a.m., so, yes.

If you could go back in time and change things, would you?
Probably not. That would take far more effort than I’m interested in exerting at the moment.

Is there anything you want pierced?
Not at the moment.

Is there anything you want tattooed?
I’m generally not interested in getting a tattoo. When they’re nicely done, important ones, I really like them, just not on me. But, I’ve always said that if I get a tattoo, it will be on my left wrist to the left of that tendon that’s there.

When was the last time you changed your default?
Facebook says January 4.

What catches your eye more? Eyes or smile?
Eyes, all the way.

Do you like your parents?
My parents are my two all time favorite people ever.

Will you have sexual intercourse within the next 24 hours?
That’s up to you, I guess.

What are you looking forward to this month?
This is hard to answer, because I’m not sure if I’m being asked about the remaining time in February, all of March, or the next 30.5 days. Therefore, I shall neglect to answer in protest to lack of specificity.

Can you do a handstand?
For 0.0342 seconds.

Who do you love?
I love a lot.

Who was the last person you IMed?
The last person I skyped was my fiancee and her new, cooler roommate.

Anyone you just want to beat up?
Fighting makes me nervous. But there are several people I would pay to have put in pain. I’m fucked like that.

Have you ever thrown up from being drunk?
I have not. The last time I threw up was a while ago. I had a stomach bug. Ask me about it. It was gross.

What’s something you want right now?
An extra week off.

Do you know anyone who smokes?
I do. I think it’s grimy and sad.

Do you like the school you go to?
I really like it.

Think back to December, what was the greatest memory you have?
This.

Do you think you’re a good person?
At the end of the day, I hope so. But also at the end of the day, I’ve done what I’ve done and I don’t really care.

Do you make smart decisions?
Well, I sure do try.

What’s the last thing you drank?
I made some chocolate milk for breakfast. It tasted like cartoons.

Who sits next to you in sixth period?
OLIVIA!

How often do you trip?
On most occasions, I put in a great effort to stay upright.

Have you ever kissed anyone with the letter “P”?
As in a three-way make out session between me, this other person, and the letter P. (I’m picturing a fuzzy letter with googly eyes, like on Sesame Street.) Yes, yes I have.

Do you like anyone?
I don’t like people.

Would you consider yourself tall?
I know a lot of people taller than me. I know a lo of people shorter than me.

What does your last IM say? From who?
It was discussing a certain bitch, and it’s private.

Why aren’t you with your first love?
My first love was my dentist when I was about 4 or 5. We are no longer in touch. I think she got engaged at some point.

Say the person you’re thinking about walks up to you and hugs you, what do you say?
Is this referring to my answer from the previous question?

Are you happier today or three months ago?
December 18. I really couldn’t tell you.

Has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes?
Obviously. What kind of  a question is this?

Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in?
Before. Nobody starts it after.

What did you do today?
I woke up, made chocolate milk, “cleaned my room.”

Have you ever brushed your teeth while in the shower?
I have. It’s crazy. I love it. My whole face gets tingly.

Have you had more than 3 boyfriends/ girlfriends at the same time?
You haven’t?

Have you ever thought about your death?
All the time.

Do you know how to use chop sticks?
I do, but I usually don’t try because I’m afraid of a) people thinking I’m a tool, or b) someone really asian and authentic dropping down from the ceiling to scold my misuse of the utensil and correct my technique.

Who was the last person you couldn’t take your eyes off of?
Watch all of these.

Have you ever run over an animal?
Once on a driving lesson, my instructor advised me to “pop” some roadkill. I had no idea he was joking.

What is your favorite cereal?
Fruity Pebbles.

Have you ever had an Oreo with peanut butter?
Parent Trap.

What’s the last nothing you said to someone in person & to who?
“Okay, bye.” Mother.

Your phone rings, it’s the person you fell hardest for, what do you say?
The stairs can’t call me.

Does anyone disgust you?
SO MANY people.

Would you ever date someone who lived in another state?
It would depend on whether or not Sutton Foster was willing to move. Wait, watch this, too. And this.

Do you want something to change in the next month?
I hope my underwear.

Your last received text, would you kiss them?
I would totally kiss Twitter =\

Is there anyone you want to come see you?
Yes, please.

Your best friend needs you at 3 am, do you go help them?
Ugh, fine.

When was the last time you talked to an old friend?
I love the elderly.

Was your last text from your friend, best friend, boyfriend, girlfriend?
Love the Twatz.

Do you know what you want to do with your life?
I do.

Do you miss anyone?
I do.

If someone doesn’t like you, its usually because…
my lava lamp currently looks like a phallus.

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3 Responses to “yes, mom, i’m cleaning me room?”

  1. Stephen Says:

    1. i wanna know some of these answers
    2. i called you a bitch last night
    3. wanna go out to lunch?

  2. emmuhhs Says:

    the magazine was cosmopolitan. every issue is filled with the same type of stuff you read last night.

  3. Thithter Says:

    hahaha i laughed out loud when i read lots of this but specifically when u mentioned ur first love, she was a dental assistant, and what was her name?? haha i tooootally member her. it was either her or mrs. arsenault HAHA.


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