i know your secret, jona$?

February 7, 2010

I like to do impressions. Most times, they sound nothing like the person they’re supposed to sound like. Case in point: my “Cehtlin Beckmeh” ditty. Regardless, people laugh and tell me, “That’s great!” And I have no issues with accepting undeserved congratulations.

For a while now, I’ve had this impression Nick Jonas, which, actually, is one of my more realistic impressions. There’s no better way to ruin your voice than tighten everything, whine, and mumble your way through “Burnin’ Up.”

More recently, I’ve delved into the poorly-articulated, fake-ass, failed T-Swift (horrendous performance, btw), wannabee-Gaga world of Ke$ha. And for the record, the use of a dollar sign in one’s name actually isn’t cool. It just makes you look foolish. You really don’t have to try so hard, Keisha. I have an impression of her, too. Though it usually just ends up with me rolling on the floor and shouting unrecognizable “words.”

Anyway, in doing these impressions, I’ve stumbled upon a theory that I’d like to share.


I realized recently that my Nicky J impression and my Keisha impression are the exact same voice. This leads me to believe that Keisha is, indeed, just Nick Jonas trying to simultaneously come out of the closet, rebel against his parents’ religion, and wear glitter in an ugly fashion.

I think the prove is undeniable, and you really can’t blame the kid.

I know you agree with me, and there’s no need to thank me for bringing to light this important fact.

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One Response to “i know your secret, jona$?”


  1. thanks for the shout out. i miss the sound of you impersonating me….


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