got too many lovers?

February 4, 2010


Thank you.

bryan formhals photographer photography

So, Valentine’s Day is coming up soon, and, no, it’s not cute when you pronounce it incorrectly.

The big VD falls shortly after my birthday, which is fairly irrelevant to this post. Though, it is vital that you begin preparing now for the presents you will be purchasing for me and the surprise festivities that you will be holding in my honor. It is also the day before I am legal to drive people under eighteen. I’ve already promised to take at lest four people to lunch. I’d also like to take you. We’ll sign up for time slots or something like that.

Anyways, I’ve been thinking recently, for the past 10 minutes or so, what I might do on such a romantic night. I’ve considered the following options:

I might play a board game with my mom. She loves Scrabble. As do I. This would most likely also involve her making me dinner, which is always a good thing.

I might stay in, sit on the couch by myself, and order Thai food. I would most likely watch something ridiculous like Planet Earth or Great Performances at the Met (my most recent voice recital). Sounds lame, huh? It’s actually far from it. It’s actually one of my all time favorite things to do. No one loves me more than I love myself. And if you were me, you’d feel the same. Obviously.

dinner, alone by manoj mp.I would love to go out to dinner by myself. To a really fancy restaurant, like Chili’s or something. And just act depressed the whole time. And tell the waitress about how I had these reservations for weeks (yes, at Chili’s, it’s a busy place) and I had just broken up with my girlfriend, but decided to come to dinner anyway. The evening would end either with me making out with the waitress or stabbing the hostess with a spoon. I’d win an Emmy.

I also might drive around aimlessly by myself. You see, I have a GPS now. So I revel in getting lost in scary, dark places, and then safely finding my way home, thanks to the help of Linda, who occasionally gives me too much attitude. Have to keep that bitch in line.

I can’t think of anything else right now. Any suggestions? Oh, if you’d like to take me to a fancy dinner, just let me know. You’re paying. And cutting my steak for me.



2 Responses to “got too many lovers?”

  1. emmuhhs Says:

    i love that your gps is named linda. what accent did you program her to have?

  2. car. Says:

    true life: i had NO idea that your birthday is in february. SORRY.

    podría invitarte a cenar y luego no pagar. vivo muy lejos, no podrías venir conduciendo y apuñalarme con una cuchara 😉

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